Understanding Baby Cues: How to Respond to Your Newborn’s Needs

Welcoming your baby is probably one of the most life-changing experiences someone can have, filled equally with joy and challenges – to say nothing of the confusion and frustration many parents feel when trying to understand what their baby wants. Babies have what we call cues; these are the coos, cries, and physical movements they make that are attempts at conveying what they need, but understanding these cues can be extremely difficult. We’ve put together a guide to some things you can look out for, with the ever-present proviso that it is only a guide, and each baby is different.

Common Baby Cues

1. Crying: This is the one you’ll likely be most familiar with – it’s what babies are known for, after all. Unfortunately, in the early days, crying is pretty much the only tool newborns have in their communication kit, so figuring out what they mean when they cry can be extremely difficult. A cry can mean anything from hunger or tiredness to having an irritating nappy that needs changing, discomfort such as wind, or just the need for a cuddle. Working out which is which can be a case of trial and error – if you know they aren’t interested in a feed and their nappy has been freshly changed, maybe a cuddle and bit of burping time can be what they’re after – or perhaps they’re the type of baby who just loves to have a dummy. Often babies will have different ‘cries’, varying in pitch or pattern, that some parents can learn to interpret as meaning different things.
2. Cooing and Babbling: These are, in general, the happy sounds, ones that show your baby is content and engaged with what’s going on. While they’re a cue that turns up a bit later (once they’ve got the physical control to make these sounds), they’re still wonderful to look forward to. You may find yourself repeating those sounds back to them, or similar coos. Aside from being fun, doing this is a great way to help encourage those all-important language and communication skills – to say nothing of their emotional development!
3. Facial Expressions: While things like the social smile tend not to develop until around six weeks old, babies nevertheless quickly develop a whole range of facial expressions they use to convey different feelings, and they’re generally not too different to what they mean when we make the same expressions. A frown is likely to be related to discomfort of some description, while that smile, once it properly develops, will mean happiness or contentment. In those early weeks, what looks like a smile can often be a sign of wind, so keep an eye out for that. They also often smile during their sleep – though the whys of this are yet to be fully understood. Regardless, keep an eye on those expressions, especially while they’re awake and active, and practice with them by making exaggerated versions of your own – it’s how they learn!
4. Body Language: This is another set of cues that can be extremely helpful to puzzle out. A few seem to be fairly universal, though as always, the specific details may vary from baby to baby. Clenched fists, for example, are a perfectly normal reflex in newborns, and they’ll continue to do this for up to six months – though they normally start to stop this after a couple of months. Yawning and rubbing their eyes is another one of those clear signs, usually indicating they’re growing tired, so it’s a good idea to pop them off to bed if you can before they start falling into the overtired stage. Conversely, bright, wide eyes and reaching arms can signify they’re happy and want to interact with you. Keep watching your baby, though, and see what signs they tend to show when they’re hungry, tired, happy…anything that can give you insight into what they want is helpful.
5. Rooting Reflex: This is one you’ll grow deeply familiar with. It’s the motions your baby makes when they’re searching for food, i.e., they’re hungry and want feeding now. If something brushes their cheek, they’ll turn their head to follow whatever made that touch, usually with their mouth open, ready to eat what they think is there. You’ll likely grow quite accustomed to your little one latching on to whatever they think is going to provide that food, be that breast, bottle, cheek or arm – anything that has caught their attention.

Responding to Cues

Even when the cue is crying, staying as calm as you can is the first step. In those early weeks, this can be difficult, as you’re unlikely to instinctively know why they’re crying, and they certainly aren’t able to narrow anything down. The key thing to remember is that it’s not just your baby who is learning – you are as well. And that goes for all family members, even if you’ve been through all this before. Each baby is unique, and there will be unique ways to respond to each child. If you’ve been through the feeding, burping, changing list, they may be wanting some general soothing. In this case, humming while cuddling them, or offering them a dummy (or pacifier/soother, depending what you call them) may be something that can help. However, dummies should only be offered once you’re satisfied their other needs have been met.

Routines

Routines can be a great way for baby to feel settled. Having a rough structure for your day lets them know what to expect, reducing the chances of your little one feeling a bit thrown off. A common routine for newborns is waking, changing, feeding, having a small amount of active time, and then going back to sleep. These routines can be expanded and added to as they grow older and become more used to the big wide world around them!

There are, of course, many more cues, and many more ways of responding to them than are mentioned here. The key across all of them is to watch, listen, learn and respond – just like we do with everyone else. Building confidence in your baby and yourself is the idea, and every parent-child relationship is unique. The important thing is to find what works for you.